jeudi 11 décembre 2008
By your hearT......?
Have you ever hurt some one...? or ... rejected...? by your heart...
They may not be able to stop it hurting, but researchers have finally found the main reason why rejection is so tough -- it takes away people's control.
"Rejection makes us realise that we're not as powerful and in control as we would like to be. In a sense, rejection is another way of saying 'no', so when rejection is perceived, it is experienced as a barrier, an obstacle to be overcome," according to lead researcher Jonathan Gerber.
In their study, Gerber and colleagues at Macquarie University in Australia analyzed 88 existing experimental rejection researches to come to the conclusion.
They found that while rejection moderately lowered mood and self-esteem, the loss of control felt by the person who had been rejected was found to be indeed a major factor contributing further to their hurt and distress.
According to the researchers, attempts to regain control could also include a range of anti-social behaviors, such as increased aggression, harassment or even stalking -- even though such behaviors wouldn't serve to promote either re-inclusion or lead to the restoration of a relationship, and would in fact work against it.
Given the findings, Gerber said that one way to help somebody who has been devastated by rejection 'is to highlight alternative ways for them to regain power that do not involve anti-social responses.'
"We need to be mindful of avoiding putting rejected people into situations where the only way they can restore control is by being anti-social. Many of the anti-social reactions to rejection could be avoided if we could find ways of restoring control that also helped others," he said.
so think for the causes before hurting or rejecting someone.... and think more to forgive the who are hurting and rejecting...because we are only creatures who can think twice in this beautiful world... :-)
lundi 1 décembre 2008
decided to quit....
One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality, I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me
"Look around", He said.
"Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.I gave them light. I gave them water".
"The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.But I did not quit on the bamboo".
"In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo".
"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. "I would not quit."
"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots.Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots."
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. " Don't compare yourself to others .." He said. " The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern Yet, they both make the forest beautiful."
Your time will come, " God said to me. " You will rise high! " How high should I rise?" I asked.
How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can? " I questioned.
" Yes. " He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can. "
I left the forest and bring back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
He will never give up on you. Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness
Bad days give you experiences; Both are essential to life.
A happy and meaningful life requires our continuous input and creativity. It does not happen by chance. It happens because of our choices and actions. And each day we are given new opportunities to choose and act and, in doing so, we create our own unique journey." Keep going...
Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
but Only God keeps You Going!
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
but Only God keeps You Going!