jeudi 11 décembre 2008
By your hearT......?
Have you ever hurt some one...? or ... rejected...? by your heart...
They may not be able to stop it hurting, but researchers have finally found the main reason why rejection is so tough -- it takes away people's control.
"Rejection makes us realise that we're not as powerful and in control as we would like to be. In a sense, rejection is another way of saying 'no', so when rejection is perceived, it is experienced as a barrier, an obstacle to be overcome," according to lead researcher Jonathan Gerber.
In their study, Gerber and colleagues at Macquarie University in Australia analyzed 88 existing experimental rejection researches to come to the conclusion.
They found that while rejection moderately lowered mood and self-esteem, the loss of control felt by the person who had been rejected was found to be indeed a major factor contributing further to their hurt and distress.
According to the researchers, attempts to regain control could also include a range of anti-social behaviors, such as increased aggression, harassment or even stalking -- even though such behaviors wouldn't serve to promote either re-inclusion or lead to the restoration of a relationship, and would in fact work against it.
Given the findings, Gerber said that one way to help somebody who has been devastated by rejection 'is to highlight alternative ways for them to regain power that do not involve anti-social responses.'
"We need to be mindful of avoiding putting rejected people into situations where the only way they can restore control is by being anti-social. Many of the anti-social reactions to rejection could be avoided if we could find ways of restoring control that also helped others," he said.
so think for the causes before hurting or rejecting someone.... and think more to forgive the who are hurting and rejecting...because we are only creatures who can think twice in this beautiful world... :-)
St.Isaac walked on the sunny side.
jeudi, décembre 11, 2008.
jeudi, décembre 11, 2008.